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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26008813">Blood Soaked Bandages</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Assassination Classroom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Child Abuse, Hiromi is not a good mom, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, I will finish this soon I swear, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, The author has no clue what their doing, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:35:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,274</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26008813</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>" Nagisa... what is that?" </p><p>Only then did Nagisa realize his sleeves had been pulled up and his classmates could see the red-soaked bandages beneath.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Class 3-E &amp; Shiota Nagisa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>133</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chp. 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nagisa sat staring at his ceiling. Unable to sleep for the past.. god how long has it been since he had a good night's sleep? He didn't know.</p><p>Groggily, he reached for his phone, charging on his nightstand and checked the time.</p><p>4:48. </p><p>He set the phone down, covered his face with his hands and sighed. It was going to be a long day. </p><p>Finally, the sun began to show through his window's blinds. ' I should probably get ready before she wakes up,' Nagisa thought to himself as he pulled off the covers and got out of his bed. </p><p>He put on his usual outfit and slipped on the worn navy vest he always wore, and pulled his hair up into pigtails. He looked himself over in the mirror and couldn't help but feel a wave of disgust, he was just so.. scrawny. So worthless. So... helpless..</p><p>He didn't even notice he had began to cry until he heard the tears hit the floor. His hands squeezed into fists, fingernails digging into his skin. He couldn't even feel it. </p><p>He left his bedroom and entered the bathroom, being careful to be quiet. He locked the door behind him and leaned against the door. The tears continued to fall silently, his mind telling him this was a bad idea and that he was risking being found out but he couldn't be bothered to care. He just wanted to feel something. </p><p>Digging into the back of the cabinet he found what he was looking for. A razor blade he had dug out of a disposable razor. It gleamed in the harsh light from overhead, taunting him. </p><p>Silently, he rolled up his sleeves, revealing white scars in neat little rows all the way up to his elbow. He dragged the blade over the surface of his skin, little red beads bubbled to the top. Just seeing it helped him calm down. He continued to drag it along, cutting more line in new spots and old, on both arms, blood flowed freely down his arm and into the sink. <br/>He had been doing fairly well up until now. Almost three weeks clean, but keeping all of his emotions bottled up wasn't a good idea. They were bound to break free and he would fall once again. </p><p>The tears stopped and Nagisa felt better. His mind was calm and at peace. But he really should bandage himself before he loses too much blood and risks passing out in class. It was already a risk that he was doing this when he has school in a little bit instead of normally on the weekends so he'd have time to heal a bit and he could hide it easier. </p><p>Once he finished wiping off his arms, blood already coming back to stain his clean arm again, he quickly wrapped them up and pulled his sleeves over them, he'd pack some bandage in his bag in case he needed to rewrap them today. He wasn't suicidal after all, he just needed to see the blood roll down his arm. The visual helped him physically relax.</p><p>Exiting the bathroom, he checked the time again. He must have spent longer than he thought because he needed to leave soon or he would be late and to make matters worse, his mother was awake and about downstairs. Which meant he would have to at least pass her to leave. He took a breath and walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. Hiromi was getting ready for work when he walked in, her attention turning away from what she was doing to him. Her eyes went dark when she saw his hair. </p><p>" I thought I told you not to wear your hair up like that anymore dear. You'd look so much prettier with your hair down," her voice dripped with sweet venom as she walked towards him. Nagisa began to tremble. She stopped in front of him and placed a hand on his check gently, turning his head up towards her and locked eyes with him for a split second before her hand left his face and immediately came back in a slap. He brought his own hand up to cover his know stinging face, " Don't let me catch you with them up again." She pulled his hair loose and with that Hiromi grabbed her things and left the house, leaving a shaking Nagisa to lock up. </p><p>He took several deep breaths now that she was gone, desperately trying to maintain himself. His arms stung from bringing them up. It took a few minutes but he managed to calm himself. He grabbed his bag and ran out the door, now aware he would most likely be late. After he locked the door behind him he ran as fast as he could towards Kunugigaoka high. </p><p>He managed the get there with a few minutes to spare so he didn't enter the classroom just yet, but waited out to catch his breath and put up his hair before calmly walking in with a smile. His mask was impenetrable, no one had ever been able to break it before and he was confident in his ability to hide his feelings. </p><p>---</p><p>He spent most of the day trying to stay awake, it seemed that now exhaustion was catching up to him. He had zoned out and barely listened to anything anyone was saying until someone grabbed his shoulder, causing him to jolt up. " Nagisa? Are you okay? I've been calling you name to answer this question for a little but now," Koro-Sensei said, concern lacing his words. </p><p>" Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine!" He said, a fake laugh leaving his lips, " I didn't get much sleep last night so I'm pretty tired." As if anyone couldn't tell by the dark circles under his eyes. " Alright, if you're sure." Nagisa answered and Koro-Sensei returned to the front of the classroom, occasionally throwing glances at Nagisa, who had zoned out yet again. </p><p>----</p><p>It was during PE that everything fell down. </p><p>They were outside with Mr. Karasuma practicing sparing against each in pairs, Nagisa cursed to himself when he told what they would be doing. He could only keep his mask up while his fresh cut began to sting and bleed under the bandages.  </p><p>He was paired with Kayano, the two going at each other with anti-sensei knives, trying to hit each other. Kayano went in for a stab and Nagisa instinctively blocked it with his forearm, causing him to hiss and grab his arm. The knife dropped on the ground. Kayano gave him and weird look and Nagisa realized what he had done, he glanced around and let out a small sigh of relief when he saw no one else had noticed. He bent down to regrab the knife and put his mask back up when he saw Kayano looking at his arm rather than her opponent. </p><p>" Nagisa... what is that?" </p><p>Only then did Nagisa realize his sleeves had been pulled up and his classmate could see the red-soaked bandages beneath. </p><p>He quickly pulled his sleeve down and covered the bandages, " Ah! Sorry to worry you, I tripped and fell while walking home the other day and scrapped myself up pretty bad. Sparing must have reopened the scraps," he said with a laugh. </p><p>Kayano looked him over and smiled, " If you say so, do you want to stop?" Nagisa shook his head, " Nah, I'm good. It doesn't hurt that much anyway." </p><p>They continued until PE came to a close, Nagisa waiting till everyone else had changed before he did. As soon as Nagisa went into eh locker rooms, Kayano sought out Koro-Sensei. His acting was horrible after all, he may be able to fool his classmates but someone with her caliber of acting experience was difficult to fool. She could tell those weren't from a fall. </p><p>She soon spotted her teacher and ran over, " Koro-Sensei! Can we talk before class? It's about Nagisa.." </p><p>Her teacher gave her an excited look and turned pink, " Oh, did you finally realize your feelings for him and are trying to get advice on how to confess? Well you've come to the right plac-" </p><p>He was cut off with a wave of Kayano's hand. " N-no! Not like that, just listen to me for a sec, Kay? Uh.. I think something's wrong with Nagisa..." She explained the days events and the smile of Koro-Sensei's face slightly faded. </p><p>" I see, thank you for telling me Kayano. I'll keep an eye on the situation for now, please tell me if you learn anything else."</p><p>The green haired girl nodded, " Will do." </p><p>----</p><p>Nagisa forced himself to pay attention the rest of the day, pinching himself every now and then when he started to zone out. He sat there patiently, waiting for the bell to ring so he could leave this place, leave the prying eyes. </p><p>Finally they were allowed to leave and Nagisa quickly packed up his things. He avoided Kayano on his way out and began to desend the mountain, lost in his own thoughts as he walked. </p><p>----</p><p>He unlocked the door to his house and walked in, luckily Hiromi was working late so she wouldn't be home for a while. He grabbed a snack, and went up to his room. The bluenette set his things down and went into the bathroom, the bandages need to be replaced. </p><p>He carefully unwrapped the bandages, wincing as the cold air stung the cuts. Next he wet a washcloth and wiped his arm clean if any blood before he wrapped bandages back over the arm. He repeated this for both arms before stepping out of the bathroom and sitting at his desk to do the homework he had been assigned. </p><p>He must have spent longer than he expected sitting there because soon, he heard the door open and again and tensed up. </p><p>His mother was home.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chp. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Nagisa's mother has a surprise for them the next day and Nagisa tries to cope with it at school.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Haha, sorry for the super long wait. I thought Iwould have time to write this sooner but I've been super busy recently, I don't exactly like this but let me know what you guys think. Criticism and feedback is appreciated! </p><p>Thank you! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nagisa took a shaky breath, preparing to face her as he walked down the stairs to greet his mother. Upon entering the room, his mother turned to face him, a gleam in her eyes and a crazed smile on her face. " There you are, Nagisa dear!" She exclaimed, " I just wanted to let you know that tomorrow we will be going out to have brunch with one of my friends from work and her daughter! Doesn't that sound like fun?" </p><p>Nagisa gulped, whenever she said ' they would be going out ' it usually meant that Hiromi would dress him up and show him off to whoever she was with as her ' precious daughter.' He hated it. </p><p>She took a step towards him, " I asked you a question. You best ought to respond," her voice dripping with malicious intent and the deadly gleam in her eyes made Nagisa want to vomit. He had begun to shake, she put a hand on his face gently. " Well?" </p><p>" Y-yes ma'am," the bluenette stammered out. The hand tensed, as if she were going to slap him again but then relaxed as if his mother thought better in case it left a mark. " Wonderful, now go back to your room. You need your beauty sleep to get rid of those awful eye bags you have." Nagisa nodded and did as told, a worm of dread crawling it's way into his gut. He doubted he would be getting a good night's sleep today regardless.</p><p>----</p><p>The next was fairly calm, as the day progressed he felt worse and worse. Until eventually he just couldn't stand it anymore and asked to be excused for the restroom. His classmates gave him odd looks as he left, they'd noticed how strangely he'd been acting all day. </p><p>As soon as he had locked the bathroom door, he let his back slide down it and sat with his head between his legs, desperately trying to get a breath. His mind was fogged from yesterday's events and lack of oxygen, he barely heard the light knock on the door and Isogai’s voice calling out to him if he was alright. Nagisa tried to tell him he was fine, everything was okay, he just had a headache and needed to get away for a moment but all that came out was a strangled cry. </p><p>" Nagisa..? Please, what was that? Are you okay? Do I need to get a teacher?" Isogai’s words were laced with concern as he spoke. The bluenette desperately tried to calm his racing heart and stop the tears from flowing but to no avail. </p><p>" N-no,” he managed to choke out, taking several gulps of air as the fist around his lungs let go, “ I’m fine.” He placed a hand on his heart and felt the rapid beating calm down with each breath until he felt comfortable enough to get up. “ Are you sure?” Isogai’s voice came through the door again but silence followed it. He was just about to knock again when the door swung open. There stood Nagisa with a smile on his face. “ Sorry for worrying you, I just needed to step out for a moment, ya know?” Upon seeing his classmate, the representative immediately relaxed but his worry wasn’t completely gone. He noted the slight puffiness and red tint to Nagisa’a eyes, the way he held himself so tensely, but Isogai just nodded and followed Nagisa back into the classroom. He spent the rest of the class wondering what was going on with Nagisa. </p><p>----</p><p>Kayano had been packing up her things when Isogai approached her after classes had ended. “ Hey, can I talk to you, it’s about Nagisa.” She felt her stomach drop at his name, had he found out something about him? “ Not here though,” She said and they both walked out the door and into the forest. “ Okay, I don’t think anyone will hear us now,” Isogai commented,” Now about Nagisa, I heard..sounds... coming from the bathroom. I.. I don’t think he’s doing okay,” he cast his gaze down to the floor and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “ What exactly did you hear?” The green haired girl asked. “ It sounded like gasps.. I think it was an anxiety attack.” </p><p>“ Hm, well okay, thank you for letting me know,” Kayano thought about this newly obtained knowledge and how it fit into the puzzle. She was about to walk away when Isogai grabbed her wrist, “ Hey, if you find anything out about him, let us know. All of us are concerned about his wellbeing too.” Kayano nodded, “ I will, promise.” </p><p>----</p><p>Nagisa dreaded every step home, it felt like ten pounds were added to the weight on his shoulders with each place of his feet. </p><p>When he reached his home it took all of his willpower to not crumple to the ground right then and there but Kiromi would be angry if he wasn’t able to go out with her and her friend, so he took a breath, pulled out his pigtails, and walked inside.</p><p>His mother had been waiting in the living room for him to return home, when she saw him her eyes lit up. “ Nagisa! Come, come, look at this pretty dress I got for you to wear today!,” she stood up and presented a sky blue dress with long sleeves and frills. Nagisa wanted to vomit.<br/> “Come now, we don’t have all day. We need to leave in an hour so hurry up and take a shower so I can do your hair and makeup!” She sounded like a kid waking up on Christmas morning to a mountain of presents.</p><p>She handed him the dress and ushered him up the stairs and into the bathroom, “ Remember, don’t take too long!” she chirped before she walked into her room, presumably to ready herself. </p><p>---- </p><p>Nagisa turned the water to it’s hottest setting and stripped himself of his school uniform, the dress being set carefully in the corner of the room. Sure it burned but only for a second, it honestly just felt nice. He set to work washing his hair and body, taking his time to delay having to go out to face Hiromi again, but he knew he couldn’t delay it forever.</p><p>Once he had finished, he shut off the water and dried himself with a towel, the worm in his stomach came back worse than ever. He didn’t dare look at himself in the mirror as he slipped on the silky smooth outfit. Once he was fully clothed he left the bathroom to find HIromi waiting for him once again. </p><p>She sat him down and finished drying his hair with a blow dryer then styled it into curls. She made sure she covered any blemishes on his face with makeup. With a smile, she let him up, “ Oh Nagisa dear! You look so lovely, a perfect daughter,” she fawned. Nagisa wanted to curl up and die. She did a few minor adjustments before she was satisfied and rushed to get them both in her car and to the cafe she was meeting with her friend. </p><p>Nagisa was silent the entire ride, and he would stay the entire time his mother and company talked. Hiromi spent the first fifteen minutes gushing over his ‘ beautiful, precious daughter,’ before they transitioned into a discussion about their personal lives. </p><p>Nagisa counted the minutes silently in his head until he could get out of this god awful outfit.</p><p>----</p><p>As soon as the pair were back home, Nagisa rushed upstairs despite his mother’s protests and in his hurry to get rid of the garment, he caused the fabric to rip. His heart stopped. Sweat began forming immediately, Hiromi always asked for the dresses back after he wore them so she could put them in a closet for later use. At the very least, something would break today. </p><p>He changed as slowly as he could to buy time before picking up the ruined dress and walking downstairs. Hiromi’s smile changed from a smile to a look of rage as she saw the state the dress was in. </p><p>In an instant, she was upon him, striking his face with such force he fell onto the ground. She began to kick him as she yelled insults and names. “ Worthless! Why was I stuck with you?! I’m your mother! I do everything for you and this is how you repay me? Ungrateful!” and more and more until she wore herself out. </p><p>It was only after she had left the room that Nagisa tried to get up. Using the wall for support, he managed to climb up the stairs to his room. </p><p>Everything hurt and he felt like passing out at any second as he lifted his shirt to see the damage. Already, angry red splotches that would soon darken into bruises were forming. At least it didn’t feel like anything was broken, so he couldn’t be bothered to clean any blood he had shed as he flopped into his bed. No matter how exhausted he felt, still his body defied all odds and still didn’t let him sleep. Instead tears flowed freely once more, only this time accompanied by gasping sobs and sniffs as he let out all of his pain into his pillow. </p><p>It took awhile but he finally cried himself to sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. UPDATE!!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>!! Update !!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hy everyone.  I realize I should have worked more on this rather than leaving it incomplete. I fell out of writing as my grades dropped and with the new semester, I'll try my best to provide regular updates to future stories. </p><p>However, I've been writing a bit for this story and I have a large portion complete. I plan on basically posting from where I left off to the end of the story with the next chapter!.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Howdy! I'm still new to writing but I'm working on practicing my skills. If I may, can y'all tell me how I'm doing? Give me feedback? It would be appreciated. </p><p>Sorry for the weird ending on this chapter, I needed to cut it's not shorter than I wanted because I have places to be but I'll make sure to pick up where I left off.</p><p>Also, there won't be too many chapters in his but I won't take that long either. So expect more of this series this week!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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